Kowani had no problem finding the hilt, getting to it however was going to be an issue and she knew it was solely her responsibility to retrieve, Ahsoka would not assist. It lay twenty meters away in the bog, half submerged, emitter side downward. She slapped herself in the face, keeping her palm planted firmly in place while she thought about how to carry out the task. She heard Ahsoka stop beside her.
“Oh boy….” Ahsoka said.
Kowani felt terrible at the onset but was buoyed by the sort of success of her initial attempt. She closed her eyes again and found the flow immediately, this time not putting as much force behind the push. She could feel resistance this time and a feeling of fatigue she did not experience the first time. She would have to intensify the initial surge then taper the flow off quickly otherwise she was doomed to the same outcome. Having been around Ahsoka long enough to know the Togruta had an incredible level of patience but also feeling the need to not test that at the moment. She didn’t think about it, she just did it. Opening one eye, she saw the hilt jump from its position, change angle slightly then drop right back down into the muck a meter from its original orientation, emitter end down again.
“That’s going to leave a mark.” Ahsoka whispered to herself.
‘Ok, good start, more energy after it leaves the water, slightly more’ Kowani finished the thought and went right to carrying it out.
Ahsoka crossed her arms in front of her chest. Impressed at the focus, the ability itself and the perseverance to accomplish the task, she nodded in approval. She watched as the hilt jumped its way across the remaining distance. Sometimes levitating for a few seconds before falling back into the brackish watery mud, other times firing off a few feet backward. Four more times the emitter had landed headlong into the mud, each generating a muffled groan, ‘although that could lend itself to the next lesson’ she thought with a smile.
Kowani was down to her knees, breathing heavily and feeling the ache of every muscle in her body, when the blade hilt was finally within reach. “Almost…. got...it….” She breathed one more deep breath, then felt the hilt finally hit her palm. Closing her fingers, a second too late, she shot her other hand over to assist and began fumbling it between both. The thought of physically firing it back into the mud through sheer clumsiness struck her and she let it drop between her feet as she fell on it to secure its position. She rolled over on to her back with the saber hilt held high above her body in the most undeserved victory she had ever encountered. Completely exhausted and panting rapidly, she looked over to Ahsoka as her arm was finally too heavy to hold up any longer. “So…. how...did...I……….do?” She laboriously asked.
“I don’t think it will ever work again.” Ahsoka said shaking her head, “Come on Ani, we need to keep going.”
The thought of getting up seemed a monumental task at the moment but she assumed this was also part of the training. The exhaustion had truly surprised her, although through her memory, she had the same issues with channeling many years ago and understood the relation. How things become easier with time, but also with knowledge and through that, confidence. She rolled over and staggered to her feet. Ahsoka hadn’t moved at all, arms still crossed before her. “Oh yeah, I’m leader...forgot about that.” She willed the words from her lips. She found herself completely discombobulated, not entirely remembering from which way they had come, nor where they were headed.
She knew she needed to settle that and, again, Ahsoka would not assist. She closed her eyes and focused on herself for a moment. Through that she was able to, at the very least, get her bearings and ground herself as a pivoting point. What she had not expected was the difficulty in performing the task, one which was second nature to her. “Using...the Force...is exhausting…” She said out loud but more for her own benefit.
“At first, yes, then over time you train yourself to prepare for it. Eventually you become it, so long as you don’t lose yourself to it, it’s effortless.” Ahsoka stated. “The danger is not knowing where that line is.” She said, her words felt heavy and full of sorrow.
“Like T’zar?”
“Like T’zar, yes, and many many others Ani.” She hesitated with the mention of the Zeltran but sincerely felt the truth of the statement overall. She had brought herself to that point then pushed ever so slightly further every time she put herself into one of her deep meditations. The sense of complete serenity was an addiction to most and she had felt its pull many times.
“I see the truth of it.” Kowani said as she slowly led on toward the unknown vessel, finally getting her bearings, and her breath. Ahsoka fell in line behind her, aware, but also internalizing the ordeal over the Zeltran. She understood his desire to both remain in that blissful state but also to return to the mortal realm at will, how both could be so beneficial yet so detrimental. Guilt crept its way into her thoughts. Was it her right to take that from him? Who was she to assume the role of arbiter, and on whose behalf? The Force? Ha! The Force can, and always would, take care of itself, allowing no one to abuse it beyond reproach. She knew that. Regardless of element, nature, or aspect...the Force would simply out-persevere anything else. Therein lies the truth of it all. The Force is and will always be.
“The ship...er pod actually is just up ahead.” Kowani said and picked up her pace somewhat.
“Well done, Ani!” Ahsoka was impressed, as they rounded a final tree and came into full view of a well-aged escape pod. Through the entire ordeal with the saber, she was able to overcome and get them precisely where they wanted to go. She knew how taxing it was to draw upon the Force in the beginning, reminding herself every day to never forget where she came from. That Kowani was able to bring them to the destination was very impressive indeed.
“It’s been here for ages I’d say.” Kowani remarked.
“At least twenty years I would say.”
“That’s fairly precise.” Kowani turned to Ahsoka “You knew this was here the entire time!”
“That’s not all.” Ahsoka said laughing. “Look.” She added, pointing to their right.
Kowani spun to look at the backside of the ‘Morai’ fading into and out of view with the passing mists, forty meters away. Out of nowhere, Kowani spun back around and punched Ahsoka in the shoulder. Ahsoka couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s the only flat, and dry I might add, ground for kilometers.” She managed, the laughter having a hard time leaving her.
“For the record, the pod looks Corellian...CR90 Corvette I’d wager.” Kowani said, bringing Ahsoka out of her reverie.
“You know your ships Ani. Precisely.” Ahsoka returned. “Senator...Organa.” She started, but immediately lost the words to emotion. She put her hands on her hips and looked skyward briefly, closing her eyes as she rocked on her feet. She could feel the dregs of sorrow churning deep within her, the sorrow from loss and tormenting grief.
Kowani noticed it immediately and rushed to Ahsoka’s side to place a hand on her shoulder, damning her exhaustion and forgetting that she didn’t have the energy, she channeled her own emotion into her friend. Feeling the despondency and utter desolation Ahsoka carried. Something deeper than recent events was clinging to the Togruta, something, what...she couldn’t say, couldn’t possibly know, only that it was stuck to her. This was an old pain, decades? A lifetime of pain? Was it that Ahsoka had never known anything but grief her whole life? Possibly. She would settle this, in time. For now, she just skimmed the surface, retrieving what Ahsoka would be willing to part with and funneled it away from her.
“Come on Ahsoka, let’s get off this planet.” Kowani wrapped an arm around Ahsoka and escorted her to the waiting ‘Morai.’ Punching in the ‘borrowed’ access codes, she patiently waited for the ramp to finish its activation and cycle down with a refreshing hiss.
“Ani?” Ahsoka said.
“Yup. Right here.” Kowani returned.
“I can’t wait to eat some rations, I’m starving!”
“Thank you for saying it first...one more bowl of...whatever that was...and I would have gotten sick.” Kowani laughed out the words.
They both walked up the rear ramp, arms around each other’s shoulder, enjoying yet another laugh…. probably not the last one at the expense of Master Yoda’s culinary ability.
Ahsoka breathed in heavily as the rear ramp hissed its final blast, accentuating her own sense of finality. Although relieved of some of the burden she had been carrying through the much-needed counsel of Yoda, and by lucky chance, that of Qui-gon as well, she was becoming increasingly retrospective since leaving her old friend. She had always thought of herself as balanced; somewhere between introverted and extroverted. The events over the last twenty-four hours seemed to have opened an entirely new corridor within her of things that needed attention, if not, then at least contemplation. She had always handled these confluences of potentiality by closing herself off from the rest of the galaxy and entering her substantially deep meditative state, but, through her own choice, she was not alone now. That thought, one that had truly never crossed her path since Mandalore, was a new feeling altogether. One of nostalgia and comfort, of a certain serenity and one of hope. Whatever path was to be taken, would be taken with the Mirialan.
“Ani, you did very well earlier. It is that perseverance that will see you through any training yet to come.” She said, looking at her friend.
Kowani turned around not expecting the comment at all, in fact she hadn’t expected any praise whatsoever for her feeble attempts at what ‘should’ be second nature for a youngling. “Thank you, I think. I didn’t realize it would be so difficult honestly.”
“Have to walk before you can run.” Ahsoka said with a wink. Her face turned a little more serious. “Moving objects will just take practice, just remember that your will is your strongest source of focus and energy.”
Kowani nodded discreetly and lifted her hand slightly, holding the hilt of the saber…. tightly. “I don’t know if it will ever work again.” She said, staring at the mud crusted and heavily dented casing.
“I’m glad you mentioned that.” A small smile returning to Ahsoka’s face. “Cleaning it is your next task.”
Kowani continued staring at the hilt. “I’ve been wondering about that myself...not that I wouldn’t have cleaned it, but it’s going to need to be taken apart to do that. I have been looking it over from top to bottom and don’t understand how it is assembled. No tabs, no seems, no welds, no screws. It is a solid piece, at least the outside anyway…. how do I get inside it?”
“As a lightsaber is made in concert with the Force, so it is unmade.” Ahsoka said, taken back to her childhood with the thought. “It is a unique bonding between the crafter and the Force itself.”
“So, I will need you then to take it apart.” Kowani concluded.
“No.” A serious expression washed over Ahsoka’s features. “The lesson is in understanding that, again, your will meets your determination. Focus on the objective, see it with clarity and you will understand ‘how’ to accomplish the task.”
Kowani said nothing, just continued to stare at the hilt.
“You ponder that, I have to try getting some messages through.” Ahsoka said and brushed lightly past Kowani on the ramp up to the holosuite.
Kowani brought her other hand up to cradle the hilt in both palms, sat right down cross-legged on the cargo bay platform and looked intently at its surfaces. Rolling it over, she saw that it was, indeed, a solid casing with a mud choked ring at one end, the emitter port she assumed. Although if it was the emitter it seemed to be on the wrong end of the thing. She wrapped her right hand around it and squeezed, turning it end over end a few times and concluded that she was holding it the right way, or at least the way ‘she’ would hold it, located the activation switch and sure enough, the emitter was on the back end of the weapon. She cataloged the information and then looked at it again, splayed in both palms. “How the hell does this thing come apart….”
Ahsoka knew Kowani would figure it out...eventually. It took a tremendous amount of focus to disassemble a true lightsaber. Anyone could of course smash them open; they weren’t made of cortosis after all, but Kowani wasn’t ‘anyone,’ and destruction wasn’t the goal. She padded her way up the decking and fell into the chair at the holotable controls. Keying in the connection data, the room flickered a familiar blue for a moment before the Twi’lek form of a dear friend materialized at a one third scale before her.
“Ahsoka!! It is great to see you!” Came a very heartfelt greeting from Hera Syndula.
“Likewise Hera, apologies for not getting back to you sooner...and I am very sorry about the loss of Kanan,” Ahsoka said shamefully.
“He passed so that we may live.” Hera turned her smile into stoic resolution, the face Ahsoka knew more than any other from the Twi’lek. “He always questioned his place, until the time came, his moment came.” She said, her voice wavering. She paused briefly to compose herself, or so Ahsoka assumed. “But because of his sacrifice, that particular mission was completed and because of that we were able to succeed in liberating Lothal.” She paused again with a smile returning to her face. “He knew we’d have a chance Ahsoka.”
Ahsoka could only smile back in return as she knew full well that Kanan was indeed special and would reconnect with the Force in his own way, even beyond death.
“I caught some of the action through Wolffe, but I would assume then that things went to plan?
“When have we ever had a plan?” Hera said jokingly then her smile vanished, and her eyes sank somewhat. “Better, to answer your question...and worse.”
“Ezra?” Ahsoka knew before asking.
“Of course. I have no explanation for what happened. Anyone here would give you a different story, but he managed to infiltrate the Chimera, and with the help of Pergil of all things, wiped Thrawn’s fleet right out of the system.” She paused again before speaking. “We have no idea where they’ve gone and have conducted system wide searches as we can allow, all to no avail.” She finished with a somber tone.
“How far were you able to look?” Ahsoka asked.
“About five thousand parsecs total, given trajectory however I fear they made for wild space. It has been some time and in the condition those Star Destroyers were, I don't know how far they could have gone or if he’s still alive.”
Ahsoka raised a hand and closed her eyes without another word, the image of Hera patiently waiting with her arms folded across her chest, weight supported solely on her left foot. Ahsoka quickly acquired her balanced breathing and closed off her other senses. Her mind complained, however briefly, that this attempt would be an impossibility, yet it was her heart and spirit giving the venture all the motivation it needed. She could feel herself being pulled in all directions. The lost needing guidance, the meager needing sustenance, the grieving needing resolution. Her mind pushed past all distraction, emotion, and doubt until it was just her and the Force. Her companion. She asked the Force without moving a muscle in her body to find the boy, wherever in the Universe he may be. To utilize the infinite connections throughout all there is to just convey a solitary message. “I will find you.” She whispered audibly. The vastness of her query would not allow her to receive any semblance of reply anytime soon, something she was acutely aware of, necessitating the need to form it immediately. She felt the request, as it was, leave her and manifest itself tidily into the flows of the Force, once satisfied she opened her eyes slowly to the patiently waiting projection that hadn’t moved a muscle.
“I cannot say if the attempt will prove fruitful only that it has been manifest.” She said with a measure of finality.
“That is welcome news Ahsoka, thank you.” Hera replied.
“I made him a promise Hera, one I intend to keep.” Ahsoka said truthfully. “He has a connection I’ve yet to comprehend and a wisdom beyond his years. Kanan would truly be proud of him.”
“He certainly would be.” Hera said with intense passion. She gazed out of view for a moment and Ahsoka feigned distraction to give Hera that moment she needed for composure. That moment passed and what returned to Ahsoka in the holoimage was General Syndula. “We have been anticipating Imperial retribution but as of, yet nothing has materialized. We’ve heard rumors of a super weapon but haven’t had any response in the affirmative.”
“The weapon is real...and unfortunately, operational. Alderaan was destroyed.” Ahsoka relayed.
“The Senator? His Wife? The Princess?” The questions came fast from Hera.
“The Princess is alive. I am not positive how I know that, only that I do...the others, I am afraid…” She trailed off.
“The Alliance will need to be notified. Have you the ability? Otherwise we can from here.” Hera exclaimed.
“Ability, yes, however I don’t have the access codes….and considering where I am headed, I don’t think it would be wise to send them.” Ahsoka had hoped to evade the topic of the coming mission, cursing herself silently.
“Ahsoka, come home…. rest.” Hera said. The phrase struck Ahsoka with a ferocious intensity, driving straight through her very bones. A feeling of dread washed over her followed closely by a sense of calm. The very same words came from Vader, but not Vader. In those moments where dream and vision transcend consciousness, meaning becomes lost. An invitation from Vader was no invitation. An invitation from Anakin could mean everything. Thoughts give way to more thoughts. Is the former her destiny, the latter perhaps? At the same time, knowing a bond exists and that there is a ‘home’ to go to is something, a concept, Ahsoka had never known. That Hera would extend that so graciously almost brought a tear to her eye. ‘I really need to get my emotions under control’ she thought to herself.
“I have to find out what I can about the younglings Hera.” She said with a flutter she hadn’t intended.
“Younglings? What younglings?”
“All of them.” Ahsoka said with a more authoritative voice. “All of them. The Empire has been gathering Force sensitives of all ages, and although the reason may seem obvious, I think there is more at work. This has been ongoing with Palpatine since the clone wars.”
“And this ‘mission’ will be taking you where, exactly?” Hera asked with a penetrating gaze.
Ahsoka felt the exasperation within, putting herself back into a position of having to explain something that wasn’t ‘what it looked like.’ “Mustafar.” She mouthed the words and was surprised to hear them.
“Ahsoka, why?” Hera took her time responding.
“Because Hera, it is the last place I encountered it personally. Yes, it was a long time ago, but the Empire is admittedly terrible at sweeping everything from even its own records. There is a clue there.”
“And so is Vader.” Hera would not dodge the obvious.
“He is not my intent.” Ahsoka tried to say with assurance.
“Perhaps, but can you guarantee that you are not his?”
This stopped Ahsoka dead in her tracks as the thought never really crossed her mind, hell, even Master Yoda didn’t cross that bridge. ‘No’ she thought, his intentions were quite clear in their last encounter. If they were to meet again, she would destroy him. She had seen it. ‘Palpatine on the other hand’...her mind trailed off.
“I can guarantee nothing, only that I need to find out what’s really at play Hera.”
“I’ve no intention of changing your mind Ahsoka, please know that, only to convey my concern over venturing into the heart of the beast. Consider coming here afterward if you can though, everyone would really love to see you.” Hera said, the General giving way to the friend. “And please Ahsoka, be careful.”
“I will...we will. Ill contact you soon.” Ahsoka said as she toggled off the emitter and ended the transmission on her end. So many more questions arise from just one little answer it seems. Would her mind never cease to create new and more formidable ways to determine her own demise? Vigilance was a virtue...to a point, it could possibly lead to insanity if unchecked. She sighed and fell back in the seat contemplating the list of concerns that only seemed to grow longer by the day.
“Dammit….” She heard coming up from the cargo bay below. Her mind zeroing in on her latest concern. She had insisted on Kowani coming with her, she knew she needed her, but the fomenting concern that kept recirculating throughout her very being was creating a worry, perhaps needlessly, that she may have just invited the Mirialan on a one-way journey. She laughed slightly at Kowani’s response if she were to ever voice said concern. ‘She’d tell me to suck it up because she’s going anyway.’
With Kowani busy in the cargo bay, Ahsoka made her way into the cockpit to get the ship online and warming up. Remembering to flip up and activate the scrambler prior to the navicomputer booting up as Kowani had taught her, she engaged the repulsors and lifted slowly from the ground, intent on leaving as they had come. The misty forests and swamps in the forward viewport weeping their own form of farewell, each branch swaying from the repulsor exhaust sprayed by the water arching away from their departure. She would miss this place, she realized. If nothing else, it was peaceful.
“Ani, strap in down there, im going to engage the drives and take us up the well.” Ahsoka said as she strapped herself into the pilot’s seat.
“Check…. master.” Kowani responded over the comm, chuckling to herself.
With that the ‘Morai’ took off from the treetops and arched its way into the atmosphere with contrails of swirling mist in its wake.