The three of them sat together, each with their legs tucked under them. Ahsoka at Yoda’s left, Kowani at Yoda’s right, each with a hand on the diminutive figures shoulder. Each could feel the sorrow and grief emanating from the other, coupled with their own emotional retreat. The fire crackled before them, licking their torn faces in a pirouette of light and dark recesses, exposing age, both time worn, and battle won. There was no sound emanating from outside the hovel, only the crackle of the dying fire and their own heart beats. Nature had also felt the impact of loss and wept silently out of respect.
“My mother told me when I was a child to carry an invisible string, that I could imagine attaching to everything or everyone I was afraid to lose.” Kowani stirred the silence. “I understand that the Jedi were taught to let go of those things.” She wasn’t sure how precisely to continue, letting the words find their own purchase in not only the others but herself as well. “This thing is real.” She decided to change course, perhaps or perhaps not, to find a way to work in what she was trying to say.
“Has a way of putting things into perspective, reality does.” Yoda said, without removing his gaze from the embers. “Fear is also reality Miss Y’mmat.”
“If it is not stopped other systems will suffer the same fate.” Kowani remarked.
“It is not the Emperor’s will to destroy all, no, this was a message.” Ahsoka chimed in. “To instill fear is to command control. Fear is not the enemy. Complacency is.” She paused.
“Learned a great deal you have young one.” Yoda added, eyes still stuck on the dancing firelight.
“I had no choice, Master.”
They were all quiet again for a few moments, small insects taking the cue from the light conversation within that it was ok to add their voices to the fold.
“Master.” Ahsoka broke the verbal silence. “I have no intention of facing Vader again. I have no intention of facing the Emperor ever. My path is unfolding before me and there are many separate ways to navigate it. I came here looking for answers, for permissions of sorts but realized I have had those answers all along, what I ask of you now is guidance of a practical sort.”
“Ahsoka, honorable your intentions have always been. Guidance from me you do not need, those answers too, you already possess.” Yoda replied “On Mustafar, learn what you can, then find young Bridger, that is where your heart lies.”
She felt every word from the old, wizened Master and realized his blessings and gratitude did not come from a Jedi Grand Master, but from a friend. She could sense a feeling of both remorse and elation coming from him. Born from a fear or perhaps premonition she could not decipher but did not want to impose on him to reveal its source, she simply let it be what it was.
“Ahsoka, training Miss Y’mmat will need. A question I pose to both of you.” Yoda said, shifting topics entirely.
“I will.” Ahsoka snapped before Yoda could utter another word. “I need her with me.”
Kowani heard the words and felt the truth of them wash over her, embracing her entirely. Words she had never heard before. A warmth spreading through her like wildfire.
Yoda smiled a smile Ahsoka had never seen before, in fact it was quite creepy, but she felt in it a sense of sincerity she had never known the old Master possessed.
“The antithesis to strife, friendship truly is.” He said when his mouth would finally allow words again.
Ahsoka smiled gently and laid a hand over Yoda’s. “A great many things I have learned from you as Master.” She paused briefly. “A great deal more from you as a friend.” She finished and wrapped both arms gently around the small frame, feeling a tiny, clawed hand on her elbow in return.
“Ani, it’s time to go.” Ahsoka stood up.
“It was a pleasure meeting you...Master.” Kowani said, understanding fully how to address him now. She, too, wrapped her arms around Yoda, feeling the same return gesture.
Getting up she made her way to the doorway where Ahsoka had placed a small holoemitter upon an exposed portion of root and was waiting for her, she paused briefly. Turning back around she ambled to close the distance back to Yoda and held two pinched fingers before him as in offering. Staring at her in bewilderment she slowly opened his palm and placed the end of the invisible string she was holding upon it. She smiled at him then folded his fingers back into the palm and kissed his forehead.
“I will never forget Master.” She said, then turned and walked out the door behind Ahsoka.
They had walked some distance in silence, the rawness of the recent tragedy still very fresh in their hearts and minds. The mid-morning light burning off some of the night’s steamy mists, yet not all, requiring at least a little attention be paid to their footfalls. The air smelled damp but felt lighter to them both as if a weight they had been unable to decipher were lifted without their knowledge.
“I appreciate your confidence Ahsoka.” Kowani remarked, wanting Ahsoka to know that her words earlier were not lost. Her voice crackled unintentionally, a cadence between high and low inflections as the sentiment she felt growing in her could no longer remain checked. “You were serious about the training, weren’t you? I mean even before on our way ‘in’.”
Ahsoka hid a smile as she pushed a choke vine out of her way, “Quite. As a matter of fact, do you know the way back to the ship?”
“Absolutely not to be honest, wasn’t paying much attention on the way in.” Kowani stated. Ahsoka could hear a breath of exasperation behind her. “I thought you knew.”
“I do.” Ahsoka said. “So, your training continues...now.” And she stopped dead in her tracks, Kowani running right into her back. The deflated feeling in Kowani only grew deeper upon colliding with Ahsoka, not wanting to have any of the ‘wrong answers.’
“Sorry for that…. what precisely do mean ‘now.’” She asked.
“Exactly that Ani, your training will continue at this very moment. You are going to guide us back to the ship.” Ahsoka stated. “Continue because you are already utilizing what you learned on the way ‘to’ Master Yoda’s.”
Kowani was quite certain Ahsoka had spent far too much time with Yoda. “Huh?” was all that came out.
“Ani, you can’t feel yourself drawing on the force at all?” Ahsoka asked.
“I wasn’t really thinking about it to tell the truth but now that you point it out, of course I can. But that is a matter of psychology is it not?”
Ahsoka wasn’t going to get baited into Kowani’s sense of humor but in her mind, she was rolling her eyes and planting her head firmly into her palm. “Ani, I can feel you drawing it in. I can sense it drawing itself to you in fact. There are only two logical paths to imagine. You are either denying it or you have always been acutely aware of it but over time it has become involuntary. Close your eyes.” She instructed, Kowani snapping them shut immediately. Without prompting, Kowani took in enough air to expand her chest to the breaking point, held it for a moment, then slowly blew it out. She felt herself first, in this place, in this very spot then felt everything around her. The insects that she hadn’t even noticed earlier were keeping their distance. Not out of fear but out of respect, for lack of a better term. They didn’t feel threatened by her at all, it was a reverence of sorts for her very being, and at that she understood what Ahsoka had meant. She could feel that same respect from the winged creatures swooping high above, the trunks of the trees all around her, canopies hidden high above the dense mists and steams rising from the ever-present water. That very water also held her in high regard, presenting itself to be utilized when and if needed. Amphibians, reptiles, and other creatures that slithered and scurried, did so out of veneration. The heartbeat of nature, both immediate and cosmic, could be felt, in sync, always with the same rhythm. Because of that, she surmised, the entirety of the whole could never be truly gauged, an orchestra of trillions all in perfect harmony. She gave her head a shake to bring her thoughts back to the here and now. “I feel it Ahsoka, all of it.” She said softly, the truthfulness in the statement was not exaggerated. A smile cracked her motionless lips as she embraced all the ebbs and flows of life around her. She sensed Ahsoka, could almost see her in her mind, a silhouette against a dark backdrop.
Ahsoka made a silent move to her right, avoiding the broken branches and dead leaves at her feet, watching Kowani intently. Left foot over right foot, crouching lower with each movement to take up a position behind her, seeing Kowani’s head move downward ever slightly and lifting the left side of her head up, her eyes still closed.
“I see you. More than feel you behind me, I see you.” Kowani whispered.
“Good.” Ahsoka said softly. “Now extend that sight.” She paused, giving Kowani some time to do as much as she moved in precisely the same way back in front of her.
“I see a small lake off to my right, further still, rock formations and trees...different from these but the currents of the Force flow into and out of them precisely as these do, even the rocks...and the water. To my left is a deep bog, impenetrable by foot, that extends for kilometers. Three kilometers ahead and slightly to the left is a... ship. No. Not a ship…. a pod? And your right in front of me.” She finished, opening her eyes slowly with a smile.
“Very good Ani! I thought I was quiet enough.”
“You didn’t make a sound Ahsoka. I told you I can see you.” Kowani said. “In the Force, or more accurately, through it.”
Ahsoka gave her an approving smile. “Let’s check into that ship, or pod, you saw.”
Kowani agreed and took the lead immediately.
“With your eyes closed Ani.” Ahsoka added. Kowani’s footfalls slowed somewhat but did not stop moving forward. Her feet dodged jutting stones, muddy holes, fallen debris and the occasional rodent. Her arms and hands busy brushing aside tangling choke vines, branches and even the body of an enormous snake not quick enough to allow passage. Ahsoka silently bobbing her head in acknowledgment of the achievements, not quite sure if even she would have been able to navigate that smoothly. After a few more minutes of the same Ahsoka stopped. “Ani, hang on.” Kowani paused midway from sliding her right foot over an exposed root and turned her head back, eyes still closed shut.
“What’s up?” She asked.
“While certain elements will naturally come very easy to you, there is much more to learn.” Ahsoka took one of her sabers, the shoto blade, from her belt and tossed it lightly on the ground. “Take it.” Kowani cracked her left eye open a fraction and eyed the hilt. “It may or may not be your destiny to effectively wield one but you’re definitely going to learn how to use one.”
“Oh...okay.” She acquiesced and made a move to go back and grab it from the ground.
“No Ani, use the Force.” Ahsoka said.
“How?” Opening both eyes now, she turned squarely around to face her.
“I have given you all the information I can simply through the instruction to retrieve the hilt, the ‘how’ is up to you.” Ahsoka replied.
Kowani stood for some time, wondering how long she would never be able to answer, asking herself over and over how to carry out the task. She would glean over thoughts, then thoughts upon thoughts to the point of confusion and would inevitably come back to trying to relate the initiative to her ability to ‘see’ the Force, then scolded herself for ‘trying’ to do anything as she remembered Ahsoka and Yoda speaking freely about doing or not doing something. ‘If I try, I’ve already failed’ she concluded. “But if I don’t try, I’ll never succeed.” Her words caught her ears and she realized she had spoken them out loud. “I said that out loud didn’t I.” It was a statement not a question. Ahsoka could see the mental torment Kowani was going through and slightly raised both hands.
“Ani, relax. You’re overthinking. The point is to not think at all. Know that you can, then know that you will.” Ahsoka said slowly. “It is precisely the relationship you have to identifying and affecting the flows of the Force that will allow you to utilize it. Let that flow bring it to you. Affect the current into it to alter its speed and trajectory and pull with the current leaving it. Focus not on the item but on the Force into and out of it.”
Kowani closed her eyes again to focus her mind and to see that precise flow into and out of the hilt. She focused on several other items in the background and focused on diverting the flows around them and into the idle hilt. Small stones, broken branches, a snake, and a dead rodent began shivering around Ahsoka’s feet. Not quite sure what Kowani was doing, much less thinking, she took a step back.
“Ani, the hilt…. OUCH!” Ahsoka began to refocus her study when a stone hit her squarely in the back of the head. “What the hell?”
“You distracted me!” Kowani said, arms up over her head in exasperation.
“Ok, ok. Let me rephrase that. You don’t need to divert the flow from anything else to affect a separate flow to a singular item. Affect the flow itself and nothing else.” Ahsoka said.
Kowani blew out pent-up breath and put her hands on her head while spinning a full three sixty on the spot.
“You can clearly do this, that stone hurt, so just focus.”
Kowani closed her eyes again and planted her feet.
“Trust yourself.” Ahsoka said again, quietly, coaxing the action.
Kowani saw the flow she needed to affect and focused on it intently, willing it to speed up while negating the flow out of it. A slight ripple of a current quickly evolved into a torrential slipstream, then she released her hold on it. Shooting her eyes open to see where it was, she quickly scanned the ground where the hilt ‘had’ been then at Ahsoka who was currently staring up into the trees at something well above the mist line.
“Well, we’ll work on that.” Ahsoka said, eyes still skyward. A ‘splooch’ of water behind Kowani signified the saber’s landing.
“Was that what I think it is?” She asked, squinting her left eye shut.
“Better get that Force vision working, I really like that saber.” Ahsoka said jokingly “But no, seriously, find it please.”
Kowani felt terrible about the outcome but was beaming inside. She turned around and shot off in the direction of the splash. Ahsoka, shook her head slightly but could not hide her smile whatsoever.